I don’t know what your dreams look like – maybe it’s your own dream trip, buying a house, starting a new business, having children or finding ‘the one’ – but I know I’m not the only person who ‘shit happens’ to. I also know people don’t share much of this side of life on social media, which can make things going wrong feel like a personal failure, or make us feel alone.

I’m writing this to let you know you’re not alone. Curveballs are a fact of life and often they can be valuable. That’s one of the key things I am learning to accept in 2024.

Now before I get started on this topic, I want to make it clear how grateful I am for my life. For having a job that I enjoy, for having a wonderfully supportive family and great relationship with my mum and for my friends and all of the great people around me.

I love my hometown in Cornwall, and the fact that my job allows me to travel during the winter months to seek sunshine and solace from the Cornish winter darkness. I love that I have flexibility to pursue adventures and to spend a lot of my spare time running, sailing or swimming surrounded by nature.

But despite all of these things I am grateful for, life can still find a way to be frustrating.

The plan

This year, I found myself in a position where I felt I could put all my energy into some of my long-held travel dreams. After a break up last year I decided 2024 was going to be a year of dreams come true. This was it – the final stretch of my twenties, and I was going all in.

This started with a January trip to Sri Lanka, where the goal was to work remotely and finally dedicate some serious time to learn to surf. Afterwards, I’d fly to Nepal to hike to Everest Base Camp. Then, I’d return home and finally step up to the plate of single-handing my tiny sailing boat (which I decided to keep after my ex moved back to France).

Sounds pretty dreamy, right? But in the end none of these things happened. Instead I’ve lost a lot of money and learnt a f**k tonne of lessons.

I started 2024 in Sri Lanka, where I hoped to finally learn to surf. I had originally planned to go just before COVID.

A year of bad luck?

I’m a big believer in creating your own luck, by being kind, working hard and being patient. But this year that belief has been seriously tested. Here’s what happened.

On Valentine’s Day, three weeks into my nine-week Sri Lanka trip, I was hospitalised with a respiratory illness. It lasted the entire trip and by the time I got back to the UK in April, I was still sick. That meant no surfing, no Everest Base Camp, no enjoyment of my usual active hobbies.

Meanwhile, my new boat co-owner managed to sink my boat back home whilst I was still recovering.

Tears were shed over the boat especially, but I took it on the chin, accepting it was ‘just one of those things’. I decided to see it as a sign that maybe it was time to pursue another dream I’d had in mind for years: van life.

So, I spent hours scouring the internet for the perfect van.

I bought Katy – a Hurley 18 – with my ex-boyfriend. She was tiny and old, but we loved her.

The van of my dreams? Not quite.

Fast forward to late May and I bought the van of my dreams. I sank most of my savings into a Ford Transit which I was sure would take me on adventures across the UK and Europe.

Except, this van started having mechanical issues almost immediately. Then, after being ripped off by a garage all my money was gone, and the van still didn’t work.

It’s now September, the van has been in the garage since a few days after I bought it, and after getting a second opinion I’ve just learned the engine is f*cked. Goodbye summer van life and winter Europe trip.

To say I’ve been frustrated would be an understatement. It felt like everything I’d dreamed of was within reach and then yanked away at the last second.

I couldn’t see any obvious mistakes I’ve made once accounting for hindsight. I therefore decided it must be bad luck.

My van broke down the second time I used it and I’ve spent thousands trying to get it fixed.

But is it really bad luck?

The problem is, I wasn’t comfortable with the ‘woe is me’ mentality. It felt like giving up control. And I didn’t want to see myself as a helpless victim of bad luck.

So, I’ve been thinking about what lessons I can take from things not going to plan this year and I’ve realised there are quite a few. It’s taken some mental effort and a few months for me to get here, so I thought I’d share them with you.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still disappointed – but I’m learning that’s okay too.

What I’ve learned

These are the main things I’ve learnt, or been reminded of, this year:

Don’t take health for granted

Ending up in the hospital in Sri Lanka was a shock. I take care of myself, so I never thought I’d be that sick overseas – especially not in my twenties. I’m still not entirely sure what was wrong, but thankfully I’ve recovered. The lesson here? Don’t take your health for granted, ever.

It’s okay to slow down

As a fairly active person, allowing my body to recover was frustrating. I decided to go on a solo hike a couple of weeks after getting out of the hospital which, unsurprisingly, ended up with me being sick again. Sometimes we need to take a step back, accept the situation and slow down. That goes for periods of overwhelm or when we’re tired, not just when we’re sick. Sometimes, patience is key, no matter how uncomfortable it feels.

The only guarantee in life is change

It’s funny how we resist change, when in reality, it’s the only constant. Things not going according to plan is the natural order of the universe. Instead of resisting, it’s easier to embrace it. And remember, even when things feel on track, they can change in a second.

Nothing worth it comes easy

Dreams aren’t meant to come easy. The struggle, the time, the effort – all of it makes reaching your goal that much sweeter. When I finally go on my first road trip, I’ll look back on this year and smile, knowing it was all worth it.

Stop putting pressure on yourself because of your age

I put a lot of pressure on myself to achieve certain things before thirty, which has caused a lot of stress when things haven’t gone as planned. But it’s just a stupid made up goal post, which deviates from the true pace of life. Forcing things to happen within a made up time frame steals the joy from the journey. It’s way more important to slow down and enjoy the present moment than race to the finish post.

Enjoy the small moments

When big plans fall apart, it’s easy to feel like everything’s a disaster. But we shouldn’t let that take away from the beauty of everyday life. Practicing gratitude and enjoying the smaller moments – a swim in the sea, a cuppa with our parents, a catch up with friends – is way more important in the long run. Writing down three things you’re grateful for at the end of each day is a great way to tap into this.

Don’t beat yourself up

When things go wrong, the last thing you should do is beat yourself up. Take a step back, reflect on what happened, and what you can learn. Every setback is an opportunity to improve how we handle the next one.

Do your exercise!

Exercise is magic for regulating emotions. Whether I’m angry, frustrated, or anxious, moving my body is the fastest way to clear my mind and enter the present moment. And obviously it’s good for general health and energy levels making it great short and long term.

Put it all into perspective

Losing months or years of hard work sucks. But if you have your health, a roof over your head, and food on the table, you’re already ahead. If you’ve saved money once, you can save it again. Everything else is just a bonus.

Moving forwards

I don’t know what my next steps are now. I think I’ll store the van for winter and figure it out later. But I hope these lessons are helpful to you. I know I’ll be revisiting them myself in the future.

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What to do when your dream plans get f***ed